Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Faded and R34N1M4T3D

I'd rather sin and carry that burden
Searchin' for repentance
Than live blind and end up in hell wondering
Just how I got this
My killing methods, visions of a mind burst
On the wall pattern spots
This is the sunshine inside the mind of a lost soul trapped in time
Living in between lives and my heart is blind
And love was just a dream that never came
Kept my head up through the rain but still my heart felt pain
With a broken heart lost in these thoughts she stopped them for a while once
And I preached love to the masses
But a couple of years later
And I'm still seeing
Tear drops and red wine glasses
Red Rose tea with a little milk and honey
Does little to soothe me
And as time passes,I've found her heart has turned me to stone
My body an empty home
And my soul gone to roam

I cry, I bleed
I drop a seed then I leave
'Cause I'm no one
That someone should be
Don't follow me
I go to church and I plead
I go home at night, fall to my knees
And weep,
I try to be so strong but I'm so weak

Dear HEAVENLY FATHER!...
Can I fall farther until I reach the depth that I need to
So I can breathe too, and heal true
Cause on the real I'm broken in
2, 4, 6, 8, 12 pieces
All in different directions and my thesis,
I've gotta go so many places to find myself
Tired of walkin' through this my heart a cell
My mind a landscape of living hell
I need a female in my life but not for love
Just someone to kick itWhen life get's a little rough
Hold me close and tell me it's alright
That I'm tough enough
And when I've been abandoned
By every other friend who's plans underhanded
To leave me stranded
Would she tell me to hold on, be strong, I can endure to the end
How can I tell this new love I'm not ready for love?
And still hers is the kind I've been dreaming of
Explore me, try to control me
Hold me and protect me when the world want's to whore me
Tell me I can take the attack
I don't need to clip up and clap back
Who can laugh with me
Cry with me
Look me in the eye and never lie to me

I cry, I bleed
I drop a seed then I leave
'Cause I'm no one
That someone should be
Don't follow me
I go to church and I plead
I go home at night, fall to my knees
And weep,
I try to be so strong but I'm so weak


Repentance can mean the difference
Between a heartbeat and defeat
And my mind state can be so sweet,
And so volitile that it escapes outside
It's like for the last five years I've been tryin to exorcise
The demons inside,
For the longest time I couldn't look people in the eyes
Surprised?
I thought up a love song and wrote it,
Seemingly prophetic for me but indeed God ignored it,
So I turned from the illogic of love and floored it
Always was the outcast, now a rider and a renegade
Lost in the whirlwind with a pin-pulled grenade
Lookin' to make a million, need to make a killin,
Trying to make my rhymes pay
It's just Me Against the World 365 all day
I identify with dead legends
'Cause I'm headed in the same direction
From start to finish
And my only prayer is that I didn't let my spirit diminish

I cry, I bleed
I drop a seed then I leave
'Cause I'm no one
That someone should be
Don't follow me
I go to church and I plead
I go home at night, fall to my knees
And weep,
I try to be so strong but I'm so weak

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