Epiphany

The Meaning of Life: Adversity.

I think God doesn't make Man to suffer, nor does he want to see us suffer. But I do think he understands the nature of suffering; that to truly grow you have to tear down and re-build. That's why he allows us to suffer, He grieves with us, not for us. Of course suffering is adversity, but the way we react to it is what defines its positive or negative attributes, not the event itself. If you accept it's reality, learn or take away from it something of value and grow then it can only be seen as a positive milestone...in hindsight of course. Concordantly, if something bad happens and we allow it to take us to a dark place and there dwell, then there will be no growth, only a stasis where invariably we'll whither and die.

We were put on this earth to love, to bond, and to grow. Consequently, we were also made to lose, and to feel the void of sorrow, and weight of despair, that we can both feel compassion when others around us are enduring the same emotions, so long as we haven't let our experiences harden our hearts. And also to build. When someone we love dies, or leaves, aside from the obvious grief another natural response is to put walls up. To never allow ourselves to feel love, and to be loved. The fear of gaining again only to lose is so great. It's easier to live in the dark, that way you can't see what you've lost, or what you're missing out on. But living in the dark is the saddest way to live...because it's not really living at all. Rather, for both situations the best course of action is to grieve, to cry, but also to allow yourself a slight smile, and to remember the good, and wonderful aspects of the person, so you might be able to emulate that, take the good that they offered and expound upon it

But be sure you look at the negative also, to learn from it so you don't repeat those same mistakes, but don't be afraid to make mistakes. Always take that leap, because if you haven’t tried you haven't lived.

The way we are now is not the way we are supposed to be. If we were, we wouldn't need to be here.

Check this place out...

http://pixel.customize.org/

I wish I could photoshop like this...srsly.

C0N73MPL4710N FR33S7YL3

If to Fall is the fall
Then repentance is the winter
Damnation is the spring
And forgiveness the eternal summer night
With the love of your life
Chasing fireflies
My fall was the prophecy
Damnation my reality
With repentance my hope
But the need for personal redemption within me
Keeps my mind a state of anarchy
I tend to keep my life stressed
'Cause I can't rest
If it doesn't feel like someone has a gun to my head
See, after so many years of people wishing I would drop dead
I couldn't help but feel isolated, wishing my dreams hadn't fled

Tupac Poster by ~djp-2000

Faded and R34N1M4T3D

I'd rather sin and carry that burden
Searchin' for repentance
Than live blind and end up in hell wondering
Just how I got this
My killing methods, visions of a mind burst
On the wall pattern spots
This is the sunshine inside the mind of a lost soul trapped in time
Living in between lives and my heart is blind
And love was just a dream that never came
Kept my head up through the rain but still my heart felt pain
With a broken heart lost in these thoughts she stopped them for a while once
And I preached love to the masses
But a couple of years later
And I'm still seeing
Tear drops and red wine glasses
Red Rose tea with a little milk and honey
Does little to soothe me
And as time passes,I've found her heart has turned me to stone
My body an empty home
And my soul gone to roam

I cry, I bleed
I drop a seed then I leave
'Cause I'm no one
That someone should be
Don't follow me
I go to church and I plead
I go home at night, fall to my knees
And weep,
I try to be so strong but I'm so weak

Dear HEAVENLY FATHER!...
Can I fall farther until I reach the depth that I need to
So I can breathe too, and heal true
Cause on the real I'm broken in
2, 4, 6, 8, 12 pieces
All in different directions and my thesis,
I've gotta go so many places to find myself
Tired of walkin' through this my heart a cell
My mind a landscape of living hell
I need a female in my life but not for love
Just someone to kick itWhen life get's a little rough
Hold me close and tell me it's alright
That I'm tough enough
And when I've been abandoned
By every other friend who's plans underhanded
To leave me stranded
Would she tell me to hold on, be strong, I can endure to the end
How can I tell this new love I'm not ready for love?
And still hers is the kind I've been dreaming of
Explore me, try to control me
Hold me and protect me when the world want's to whore me
Tell me I can take the attack
I don't need to clip up and clap back
Who can laugh with me
Cry with me
Look me in the eye and never lie to me

I cry, I bleed
I drop a seed then I leave
'Cause I'm no one
That someone should be
Don't follow me
I go to church and I plead
I go home at night, fall to my knees
And weep,
I try to be so strong but I'm so weak

Repentance can mean the difference
Between a heartbeat and defeat
And my mind state can be so sweet,
And so volitile that it escapes outside
It's like for the last five years I've been tryin to exorcise
The demons inside,
For the longest time I couldn't look people in the eyes
Surprised?
I thought up a love song and wrote it,
Seemingly prophetic for me but indeed God ignored it,
So I turned from the illogic of love and floored it
Always was the outcast, now a rider and a renegade
Lost in the whirlwind with a pin-pulled grenade
Lookin' to make a million, need to make a killin,
Trying to make my rhymes pay
It's just Me Against the World 365 all day
I identify with dead legends
'Cause I'm headed in the same direction
From start to finish
And my only prayer is that I didn't let my spirit diminish

I cry, I bleed
I drop a seed then I leave
'Cause I'm no one
That someone should be
Don't follow me
I go to church and I plead
I go home at night, fall to my knees
And weep,
I try to be so strong but I'm so weak

Sewwwwwwwwww...

This is an adendum (i don't care if i misspelled that or used it incorrectly...this is mah blogg, deal with it) to the last blog about a girl and crap.

Anyway, I didn't call. I txtd but I didnt' call. Turns out the number was to a hardline. Homie don't play that.


Anywoooo, it turned out that we ended up passing notes in class, which seemed odd since we were sitting right next to eachother. It was just like being back in high school. I'm assuming, since that's an aspect I've never experienced.

So, I've got oodles more space, so for your entertainment pleasure I give you:
FUNNY ANIMATED GiFs!









In closing:

Call It(Whatever You Will)

Call it a fluke
Call it an accident
Call it a first kiss falling in love
And not knowing what to do next
"I Love You" is just a natural reflex

So you took off and flew away today
And Standing here alone, what could I say?
Here's to your life and something new
I hope he's good to you
I hope he makes things right
Because when I close my eyes...

Call it a broken heart
Call it every day falling apart
Call it no one feeling the same
As you did when you'd say my name
Call it me walking away in the end
Call this a life that needs to mend

Now in those mornings I still feel your touch
And when the wind blows I'm just an empty soul
Loking for this much
Lost in your rush
Just more lost trust
And sunrise just isn't the same
I'm tired of childrens' games

Today, Kids

Something odd happened in Dane's little universe.

I was sitting in my math class, doing some lessons on the computer, when a girl walks up to her friend sitting next to me and hands her a note, whispering into her ear. Out of the corner of my eye I glance at a note and through the slight blur all I can make out are scribbles and a line pointing in my direction. Moments later after the girl had gone away and sat back down her friend turns to me and says "so my friend thinks you're cute and wanted me to give you her number" and hands me the piece of paper.


How strange.